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ABC of a Punjabi Wedding

In one of our previous articles, we discussed the ABC of a Delhi wedding. Well, the only type of wedding that can beat the level of a Delhi wedding is a big fat Punjabi wedding. I love them! The music is loud, the people are super fun and every function runs on the following factors- rum, rum, rum, rum, rum, and whiskey!

We all know how much Punjabis like good food, music, and alcohol. It is not just an occasion where two families meet, it’s also a place where you get to see a different world altogether. So here’s the ABC of a Punjabi wedding:

A for Adjust
This is what your parents or grandparents, especially your beeji will always ask you to do whenever they want you to push around.

B for Backside

It has nothing to do with your bum. It refers to the rear of the building, or block, or tent or wherever the alcohol is kept.

C for Cloney

Neither it refers to someone whose first name is George, nor it has anything to do with clones. It refers to an area where people live. eg. Defence Cloney.

D for Dhamaka
Punjabis owns this word because just like the wedding, the life of the bride is full of dhamakas dropped by her mother-in-law.

E for Expenditure

Believe me, when I say this, Punjabis are not scared of spending money. They’ll have the latest cars, marble flooring, best alcohol in town and whatnot. Their ambitions are always expanding.

F for Fuffadh

It is a creature who accidentally married your father’s sister. He might not have achieved much in life but will always be respected in your family because he is the son-in-law. Apart from impressing your in-laws, your parents should also impress him, otherwise, he might tend to get upset. If you ask why to read the second sentence of this paragraph again.

G for Gaddi

The way a Punjabi drives a car can put any F1 driver to shame. “Gaddi Vich Maare Gediya” isn’t simply said like that! If the Grand Prix ever come to Chandigarh, there’s no way Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Amandeep, Jasmeet or Sukhvinder.

H for Ho Jaega

The moment you hear that you have to be very careful because you have to be reasonably sure it’s not going to happen.

I for Intezaar

It generally refers to the anticipation of any ceremony to get over so that you can chug that Patiala peg and hit the dance floor.

J for Jindadhi

For if there’s one person who knows how to live life to the fullest, it’s a Punjabi.

K for Kalire

It refers to a gold-colored accessory which is the bride is supposed to shake over the head of an unmarried girl, who she wishes to see married next. If it falls over her head, it is believed that she will be next in line.

L for Lashkara

It is the twinkle that every aunty’s nau lakha haar gives due to refraction in the different density of the flashy chandeliers and spotlights.

M for Milni

This the time when the bride’s family welcomes the groom and his family members. Exactly right after this, the groom’s mother starts throwing all sorts of tantrums.

N for No Problem, Ji

To see how that works, please refer H.

O for Oye

In a Punjabi wedding, you’ll get to hear a variety of Oye‘s. It can be because of surprise (Oye hoye!), a hailing (oyye!), anger (OYE!) or when anyone is dancing (Oy! Oy! Oy!).

P for Panj Mint

It refers to five minutes. No matter how near (1 km away) or far (100 km away) the baraat is from your venue, they usually say that they’ll reach in panj mint.

Q for Queue

This generally seen either in front of the golgappa counter or in front of the bar.

R for Roka

This word was derived from the word ‘rokna’ which infers that the bride and the groom can stop searching for other wedding prospects. It also means that your mother can stop nagging you with the question “Shaadi kab Karni h?

S for Switty, Bunty, Pappu, and Sonu

You’ll find one each at every wedding and almost every time, they’ll be responsible for either screwing something or repairing something.

T for The Official Bird of Punjab

Tandoori Chicken!

U for Uncle Ji

It is a very renowned species whose seen widely at a Punjabi wedding. The bigger the paunch, the bigger the bank balance will be.

V for Vella

If you’re from the host family and you’re found standing idle, you’re entitled to be one. You need to get back on your toes otherwise a flying jutti will be shot at you.

W for War

Well, this activity takes place between the bride and the mother-in-law. It generally begins after the ceremonies get over and continue until the mother-in-law lives.

X for X-rated words

They flow freely in casual conversations happening among the Uncles.

Y for ‘You Nonsense’

This is when alcohol takes over the brain and anger replaces the vocabulary. You generally get to hear when the bartender says that the bar is closed now.

Z for Zigzag

For this, you should see G.

Apart from having loads of chaos and drama, you get to make a lot of memories at a Punjabi wedding. We all must have seen any one of these factors in a Punjabi wedding. Tell us about your ABC and we’ll definitely read it.

You can also check out the list of trending Indian wedding songs.

Comments

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Aena Rizvi

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