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In India, the most important factor basis which a girl is judged to be a suitable bride is her virginity. Her personality and intellect come after that. She might be a renowned journalist or a hardworking lawyer, but if she’s not a virgin, none of that will matter. It is believed that her virginity defines her character. If she isn’t a virgin, maybe she’s characterless.
Such beliefs have been carried forward for generations. In some areas, right after the first night, the women of the house fish for bloodstains on the bedsheet. This belief has been cemented on the surface of society and it is undying. Although words like sex and virginity are often hushed upon when spoken in front of elders, they are still talked discussed among them. Society still has the same thought-process as it had 100 years ago. It is still hesitant when it comes to changes. It’s still obsessed with virginity and that exists only for the female species.
The dictionary defines a virgin as someone who has never had sexual intercourse. But the definition put forward by the society is absolutely different. For society, a virgin is a pure and innocent soul. This sets their standards of respect and dignity for the individuals who are virgins. These measures are based on the distinctive elements of celibacy and chastity.
Chastity refers to an act of having intercourse with the one a person is married to. It is regarded as the most sacred and holy act. Alternatively, the same act with an unmarried individual takes the form of being dirty and shameless. This isn’t just an assumption but a fact.
Girls are often educated about how virginity retains purity on a regular basis but nothing is said to the boys. History states that men have never been asked about their visits to brothels and on their relations with mistresses. But women, when unmarried, are expected to be behind the veils preserving their virginity for their husbands. Over the years, the veils have vanished but the perception remains consistent. This difference boils down to the blindness towards rationality in this regard.
The sad part is that even today, the society is resistant to re-marriages of women or approval of rape victims, both of which the people relate to purity. But hey, chastity is the purest of all, isn’t it! Thus, this property gets disrupted when a married woman is considered for remarriage. The most insane part is that rape is never a choice of the girl, yet she is barred. The reason is obvious- she is no more a virgin.
Society considers virginity to be of the highest significance and they can’t be blamed entirely for this perception. In every era, this is what every generation is influenced by the preceding one. No wonder are we losing our brains and wisdom.
In ancient times, when men and women were equal and marriage wasn’t a concept, having sex was one’s decision whose only determinant was the compliance of the two involved. With time, division in work gave rise to the roles of men and women, which further resulted in women’s dependence on men and that gave rise to the concept of marriage.
We need to accept the fact that the beauty of Indian traditions is beyond such ideology. It’s high time for a transformation where a bride is accepted for whatever and whomever she is. A transformation in society will certainly provide a similar change. The notion of virginity, hence, deserves a re-consideration. Do not be a blind follower of society! If you’re educated then be sensible enough to address new thoughts, new beliefs, and a new approach towards virginity.
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